Crazy connections. As usual, I start writing here as a way to process my thoughts and the things going on in my head and heart and typically I have no Idea where any of this is going when I sit down to put pen to paper (or in this case finger to key).
I have been binge watching American Idol today. It’s snowing and it’s just a great day to sit here and do nothing for a while. My Idol obsession is late to the game. It really only started last season when I broke my ankle and couldn’t really walk so I just sat in my spot on the couch with my foot up and watched Ian Tongi and his friends compete for the prize.
So on a snow day with several episodes already on Hulu I decided to sit down and binge the newest episodes.
It’s the audition phase, probably my favorite part. I love the stories of the contestants. The young girl who is writing songs from a broken heart. The young man whose father passed away. The immigrant whose family is still living the war torn life from Albania. The stories reveal to us what’s really going on in people’s lives who get up there to pour their hearts out in music.
I’m not naive enough to think there aren’t some staged parts where the producers are whispering in the judges ears to create some tension and drama. But the stories are real, the pain is real, the broken hearts are real, and to some small degree the hope and the magic of a golden ticket are real.
There’s a beautiful tension in the windows of peoples lives that we the audience get to be transported and taken away to experience real pain, real hope, real joy and even very real disappointment. I watch it for the stories, which I find fascinating and beautiful (even when they bring me to tears).
And B. T. Dubs, no judgement! If you can watch the first few episodes of Idol and not shed a few tears you may need to talk to a counselor about why you’re dead inside.
So after I finish that little binge, my wife pulls up a recent talk by Rosaria which has been a bit of a “bru ha ha” (is that how you spell that word?) in the Christian world recently.
If you don’t know who Rosaria is, she is a former lesbian who discovered Jesus and changed her life and her worldview drastically. She has told her own story in several books, podcasts, and interviews. Hers is an interesting story, no less interesting than those on Idol. Hers, like everybody’s, is a story of pain, struggle, loss, hope, tension and drama. I know a lot of people that read my words here might judge and condemn her for “a refusal to be her authentic self” but, look, she is being herself! She is choosing to live a life of dying to her self and her own desires for the sake of living the way she personally finds to be authentic and real. So for real – no judgment. It is the height of hypocrisy to argue that a person should live their lives the way they want to and then get mad at them when they do. The American political and religious left is so great at that type of hypocrisy and I can just feel it coming off of some of you, so I want to address it before you get a chance to let loose on me for telling you about Rosaria.
But here is where I think it gets interesting. We humans are such fragile and frail creatures that whatever our personal position is we begin immediately to build fortresses and walls as a way of protecting ourselves.
This bru ha ha of recent is coming from a video where Rosaria spoke recently at none other than Liberty university. You know the place, where the founders’ son and then president got in trouble for his sexual proclivities. In a speech at liberty, she condemned those people who decide that because they want to follow Jesus and are personally gay or lesbian they choose to live a life of celibacy because they have decided that is a way for them to honor Jesus.
Rosaria is condemning people who actually agree with her about how sexuality can honor Jesus, and all without knowing their stories.
I am really struggling with this. All of this. I suspect that I would personally disagree with many of the people on Idol about a lot of things. I can tell you I probably disagree with Rosaria, I also disagree with some of the people she condemned from the Liberty pulpit.
As a matter of fact, I have probably disagreed with everyone I have ever met. I disagree with the amazing people who live in my house who I also love quite a lot.
But let me tell you what else I do. I listen to their stories. I find the drama and the joy and pain and the sorrow and the hope in those stories. And I find a way for the stories to point me toward a deeper hope and joy.
We all have a story. I fear that Rosaria (who it’s probably fair to say represents to some degree the religious and political right) is doing exactly the same thing as the people I mentioned earlier on the political and religious left. They love to judge, bicker, argue, and condemn others without listening to their stories.
Now, even I am saying this, it may be a bit unfair. Maybe they do listen to the stories of others, it’s just when you get on stage to talk, you can only say so much. If anyone understands that, I certainly do. But the sense I get is that so many people are saying “unless you fit in my box I don’t want to listen to your story.”
That only wounds you. The refuser. It only keeps you from learning.
There are several contestants moving on in the Idol competition that I’m certain I would not personally agree with. Luke Bryan talked about how some people come out to audition and he used to think “What’s this weirdo doing?” but as he said, he has grown and learned that it’s good to listen to others. Some of those “weirdos” have amazing stories that we can learn and grow from. Even if we think their personal choices might not be ours.
Rosaria, listen. Take a page out of Katy, Lionel and Luke’s book. Pay attention to the quirky kid with the purple hair, she might actually bring you to tears. Isn’t it amazing how beautiful the voice of that trans girl is? Can you say “Man you sure can sing!” without affirming every life choice? Can you experience the joy of being in someone’s company without having to teach them why they’re wrong?
And while I am on that topic, who do we think we are to have to be right all the time? Listen, if you know me well you will know the irony of me saying that. I am always right. I study and learn and I think. Frankly I do very little else. I spend countless hours figuring out the right answers to obscure and ridiculous questions. I know what is right when it comes to the speed of light (but I know what I don’t know) and I know what is right regarding the greek nuances of the word baptizo. But I also know that your life won’t be changed by me telling you how wrong you are and how right I am, but perhaps, just maybe possibly, there is an off chance that if we listen to each other’s stories each of us could be changed a little bit for the better. We might move toward each other.
I find beauty in the stories of Rosaria as well as Greg Johnson, a man I know that she condemns. I find beauty in the stories of the people in my own life who make choices I would not make for myself. Even when I can honestly say to someone, “I believe Jesus might call you to different choices.” I can also say you have taught me and helped me to understand and love people who are different from me.
A Lesbian couple comes to mind who I always appreciated being friends with. They knew my personal opinion. They also knew I loved them, and that I liked them. They had a story worth hearing (it has only gotten more interesting by the way).
Isn’t that true of all of us? Our stories get more interesting. That is if we’re willing to listen, grow and learn.
The reason Idol has such a following is that they honor stories. They listen. Over time they work to shape the contestants. If you’ve ever watched a full season you have seen people grow and change. Maybe the country guy learned how to sing rock and roll, perhaps the soul singer got a little more R&B. But they also grew as people. They learned to express themselves more fully, but many also learned just how wrong and immature they were at the audition.
They were able to grow and listen, learn and change, because they too were listened to by people who were growing, listening, learning, and changing. That’s what makes Idol what it is. It’s not the songs people are singing, its the stories of people whose lives are being transformed. It’s the pain, vulnerability, authenticity and honesty that they are entering the story with and the ability they have to learn to grow along the way.
Idol has been running for more than 2 decades now. People love it for a reason. I think this is why. I think all of us have something we can learn from following the stories. But I also think there is something we can learn from watching how they choose to love people, hear their stories and help them to grow, while we too are learning to grow.
That’s why I like American Idol. It’s a place of hope (even if that hope is just for a Golden ticket or a recording contract. Wouldn’t it be great if there was a place of even greater hope that listened to the stories of people and invited them into a place where they could grow and change for the better?
Spoiler alert, there really can be if a place called the church can live the way we are called to.