Let me share with you my past twelve hours or so.
Last night I spent about thirty minutes talking with a friend about the ways that the church has hurt her. And by the church I mean that institution that far too often leans toward self protection, ideology, prejudice, and authoritarian structure. I don’t necessarily mean a poorly defined group of broken, messy people who are all just trying to look a little bit more like Jesus every day.
Today I went on a bit of a doom scroll through twitter. I read one of those endless debates between Christian academics. They were sniping at each other about relatively pointless things, each defending their own position without even attempting to make a show of listening to each other. Then followed a thread of pastors talking about the ways they have been misrepresented and harassed by church folks who were intent on slandering, misrepresenting, and wounding them. In many cases this happened while “supportive” others in the room said and did nothing.
These things happen all the time. It’s happened to me, and I’m sorry to say I have also participated in it from every side of that table.
Churches, and yes, pastors too, hurt people. We do it out of self protection, pride, and even a desire to uphold ideologies that even Jesus would advocate (but not be a jerk about). We also, and far more often, cause pain by upholding values and ideologies that Jesus would prefer to have nothing to do with at all.
But all of us (and I am not simply referring to Christians here) human creatures tend toward self protection, pride, and ideologies that make us feel safe.
The world is an insane, fallen, dangerous, and deadly place. In this crazy world we share together, we work so hard to find safety. In the process of trying to find safety, we make it more dangerous. That’s the human story. Nazi Germany, the genocide in Rwanda, Ukraine, the Bosnian genocides, the Mongol invasions, and the list could go on forever of the tragedies we have perpetrated on ourselves, all of these things are nothing more than human beings seeking safety, stability, and self protection at the expense of others.
The church, I am terribly sad to report, is made up of regular old human beings who more often than not function like … well… regular old human beings. We seek safety in the same old structures that we think will provide all these things, and almost always at the expense of others.
I’ve turned some people off because I can’t stomach this tendency inside of us all. People may come around looking for stability and some sort of solid, stalwart, authority type pastor. They don’t usually stay long in the church I struggle to lead. I’m not that guy. I’m a bit of a mess. I’m not detail oriented at all. I struggle with anything that looks like administration. And I sometimes say the most awful things to other human beings. I don’t mean to, I don’t even want to, but I do. That’s why I need Jesus so bad. Not only to forgive me for being what I am, but also to change me.
I am desperate for a new kind of church. Not some kind of authority that upholds some kind of Ideology, doctrine, or cultural standard. I don’t think we need any more of that in this world. I want a church that points to Jesus. I want a church that is humble and honest about its failures, its weaknesses and its need. A church that humbly listens to the whole world, whether broken, proud, or wounded.
And don’t get me wrong, there are a ton of Christians like this. They are out there. They are listening and loving what is broken. They look (not exactly, but a lot) like Jesus. They are humble and honest. They are trying to love others well without judgement. They aren’t trying to prop up their own status, power, wealth, and position. And even they are failing sometimes to not act like regular old human creatures.
Failures aside, these people are willing to sacrifice comfort and authority, just like Jesus did, for the sake of others. There are many of them. I know a lot of them. I am happy to say I worship Jesus with some of them on Sunday mornings.
These people know that they need Jesus most of all, and they live out of that as they enter into the world.
I am encouraged as I write this because names and faces of people I know are flashing through my mind. These are people that are getting it, fumbling for sure, but at least headed for the right endzone. I believe with everything in me that there are more and more of these sort of people limping their way into churches on Sundays in this country.
Some people have said the church in America is drying up, and by some measures I suppose that’s true. People who don’t need Jesus don’t go to church as much as they used to. The numbers might seem to be getting thin. But the church will stand. The church will last.
As the people who don’t need Jesus leave, more and more people who know that they do will have space to find their way through the doors. They will feel loved and cared for there, not judged or misunderstood. And out of the ashes of the broken and wounded, we will rise and be better than ever. Not out of our own strength, power, and wealth, but out of his. And that right there is the only thing that will give us protection in this crazy world we share.
If you are a person who needs Jesus, or even wants to know what that might be like, I would love to get to know you. You belong in our community. Find a community that actually believes they are the neediest people around. We don’t have the answers, we just have the king. That’s enough for us.
It would be foolish to pretend that we don’t all mess up sometimes. And it would be a lie to say the organized church doesn’t sometimes look like everyplace else. Wherever human creatures gather we can easily begin to function out of self interest, pride, and fear. But Jesus is all about turning our worst nature into something better. And a community that actually believes that and works to live like Jesus will be a community that anyone would want to connect with.
Brothers and sisters who belong in the church, let’s start listening and loving.
Brothers and sisters who don’t, will you come around and help us be more like Jesus?